If I were president I would try to be a pretty good president so that after my presidency a prestigious library would be built for me and it would have my name in really big letters in front of the building. Damn those kids that smoke and throw their cigarettes in front of my name!
If were a kid I would try to be pretty good in school so that everyone would think “How intelligent is this kid!”, “How’d you get so sharp?!” and they would go back to their houses and would read the latest book by a famous author because they are so jealous.
Damn those bookmarks that fall from my books so that I can’t find my last page!
If I were a writer, I would write enormous fantasy books with dwarfs and lost rings so that all the kids of the world would read my books and I would have a billion dollars.
Damn those taxes that I have to pay!
If I were a dollar bill I would try to look old so that people would use me and I could travel the world and see how the people of the world live.
Damn those fat people that put me in their pockets and sit on me!
If I were a personal trainer I would have the best looking body in the world so that my clients would think that I am the best
personal trainer in the world so that they would tell all their friends and then afterwards I would have more clients.
Damn those cookies that always call my name when I pass by them!
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