What's in a name?

I’ve promoted myself in the Non-Existent Corporation to the official reviewer of English names for Argentine businesses.

I don’t have any experience, nor am I an expert, but I think I am going to excel in my new position. Yes, that’s right, Jennifer Albright, reviewer of Argentine businesses in English.

I’ve been looking around this city and pretty often I am shocked at the names of some businesses here.

Here are some examples…

Tramps

This is one of my favorites. This store sells women’s clothing. Does anyone know what a tramp is? It’s a person who engages freely in promiscuous sex – and a terrible name for a woman’s clothing store! It would be like my opening a store in the US with the name “Facilona”. Sound good?

Prune

This is another one of my favorites. This store sell handbags, wallets, shoes and leather jackets. I don’t know if the people of Buenos Aires know this, but a prune is a dried plum that is eaten by old people in order to relieve their constipation. Prune…not a sexy name. Every time I pass by one of their stores, I can’t stop thinking about the idea of going to the bathroom.

Paw acesorios

This store is another store that sells handbags, but also every type of accessory. I can’t speak for you, but what comes to my mind when I think of the word “paw” are the feet of dogs, cats and bears. That’s cute and all, but I certainly do not what to think about a dog’s foot when I reach for my handbag. I haven’t bought anything at this store yet.

Lady First

This store sells women’s underwear. The only thing I have to say about this is that the phrase is “Ladies First”. It’s “ladies”, not “lady””. The first word is plural, not singular. Every time I pass by this store I think to myself that the person that chose this name must have learned English as their second language. No native speaker would choose this name.

Lady Stork – New York

This is a shoe store for women. Ok, I’m going to explain something here. When kids are young and their parents don’t want to have “the talk” with them, the common explanation for where babies come from is that a stork brings them. Stork is the word “cigüeña”. Anyway, a stork does not sound attractive…not even close! What makes it even funnier is that the brand has the words “New York”under the name (check out the photo) as if the store started there and this is one of their other locations.

Stork Man – New York

This is the sister store to Lady Stork, but the shoes are obviously for men. Every time I pass by one of these stores I am completely dumbfounded. I can’t comment on this one, it’s that bad.

XL Extra Large

This store sells handbags. I’m not sure if the person that chose this name understands this, but, in general, women do not want to be associated with anything that is XL. Do you understand what I’m trying to say here? Full-size…really big…XL…I think not!

There you have it. I have some others that are a part of my favorites also, but I’m not going to bore you with them.

In order to be fair, I’m going to write an entry about the names that I do like. Check back soon to see some of my favorites.

Te mando besos,

Jenn